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April 2001

Sunday, April 29:

So, it is the end of April.  I still have no money!!  On the other hand, I have a job offer in North Carolina.  The job doesn't pay much, but...IT'S NORTH CAROLINA!!  Not sure if I'm gonna go through with it though.  My head is burned out with too many thoughts racing around and darting in different directions.  Love lost, love found, love missed.  I wish I were a robot (like Bryan the bio-gnome)!!  That's an inside joke.  Props to Amy on that one.  The weather is finally nice.  I'm taking my Ninja everywhere I can this week.  Well, I'm off to bed.  I have a long day tomorrow.  Oh yea, thank you Dandy for a wonderful day!!!

Saturday, April 21:

Happy birthday Amy!!  Well, I have a new poem that has tickled my fancy.  For some reason, It reflects the way I have been feeling.  I already sent this to somebody, but they never visit my site anyway.  Well, here it is:  "If you are frightened of dying, and you're holding on.  You'll see devils tearing your life away.  But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth."

Monday, April 16:

The word for today is "drained."  I just worked 14 hours straight.  Yep, my day started out at 5:15 a.m.  I arrived at work around 5:30.  It was pretty much non stop until I left at 7:45 p.m.  To make things worse, I am feeling quite depressed today.  The two main reasons for my mood are money and the loss of a very important person in my life.  The best description of my mood is the quiet, eerie calm you sense after an intense afternoon thunderstorm.  The sky is an odd color, and the air is heavy and dirty.  There are no sounds or wind, just an ominous silence.  Off in the distance you can see another black storm cloud heading your way.  Yea, that's me.

Tuesday, April 10:

Why is it that I keep looking for things to make me happy.  I go for days just sulking around being depressed about anything and everything.  Some days are better than others.  What I need to do is treasure the things I do have.  My cycling, my friends and my family top the list.  You know what, today I am going to thank each and every one of my friends and family I see.  Thank you for being you.